I must apologize, dear reader, for it has been a fortnight since I last penned an entry. Anyway, I haven't had much to say except complain about being 8 months pregnant, so I haven't posted. But at last I have something to say. At my book group meeting last week, everyone there was pregnant except one, so naturally we started talking about labor, delivery, and other womanly topics. This happens just about every time we meet because someone is always pregnant or nursing.
Well, we started sharing stories about the childbirth education classes we've taken. I was reminded how during our class the instructor never failed to refer to the guys as "partners" and how bothered Tim was by this. I'm 99% sure all of the men there were actually husbands and fathers to the mother/fetus, so was it really necessary to reduce them from "father" or "husband" to "partner" just to spare some fornicator's feelings? A partner is someone you get paired up with in the PE social dance unit or share a lab table with in chemistry class or say "howdy" to while you're riding horses. We're talking about FATHERS--men who are not only man enough to stick around when their woman gets pregnant, but to attend the fluffy classes too!
So last night I attended a mandatory parent education meeting for London's preschool co-op. In previous meetings, the same lousy term "partner" was used, so I was expecting more of the same. The difference was this time the subject was actually improving satisfaction in your marriage. Even when it was assumed everyone there was married and obviously has children, we were still referred to as "partners." Explain that one.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Partners
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6 comments:
We live in a society that is too politically correct. We are so careful about saying the right thing and not offending others that we never say what we are really trying to say. I agree with you, it is lame!!!
The term "partner" doesn't really bother me. I know my mother says that she and my father are "equal partners".
I think that by saying that, it isn't reducing the role of the father, but it's saying that even though he's not giving birth he is an active partner with you in this process.
But since not every baby has the luxury of married parents, a more general term is needed. Not out of political correctness, but simply ease... sometimes it is the mother or a friend or shacked-up boyfriend, etc, helping the new mother, and the teacher can't say, "husband or boyfriend or friend or parent". Partner is much more efficient.
Plus, who wants to elevate the sleezy live-in's to the compliment of "husband and father"
Wow. I have to respectfully disagree, as I think that "partnership" is a meaningful and accurate description of my married relationship. Anyone can take vows and get married, but it takes work and committment to make it a Partnership. Any Dad can hang out in the delivery room and say "yay, push.." but it takes a partner to read your cues and really help you through the process.
At the very least, what about a pregnant woman who has lost her husband to death? Or a military wife who is taking birthing classes with a friend or relative?
I find I am more offended by the presumption that everyone should be called the "Father".
Ever human being is entitled to follow their moral center, and the fact that it may differ from another's makes them neither "sleezy" nor less worthy of a little sensitivity to their feelings.
*stepping down from soap box now*
-Mel
Nice insights, ladies. I hadn't thought of partner as being equal and there is something to be said for that. While there are exceptions to the traditional mother/father situation, I still think it should be the ideal and the norm and therefore the term used in such situations.
It's so irritating! We bought a book called, "What to Expect When Your Wife is Expecting" and it did the same thing. Korban read it and got alot out of it, but that "partner term" was everywhere in that book! Korban is a partner, but he's so much more than that!
In a childbirth class I do think that the 'father/husband' term should be used. If they want to get so politically correct, maybe they should use the term 'doula' since that can be a man or woman that is assisting in the birth. It's a much more specific word for the occasion.
I do understand that some of the mothers in the class may have just lost there husband or for whatever reason, the father isn't able to assist in the birth. But the majority of the class is the father of the child.
Our world is becoming too politically correct. Dallas and I were just talking tonight about how everyone's becoming so politically correct. We were talking about how in Australia the Santa's are suppose to say "Ha! Ha! Ha!" instead of 'Ho! Ho! Ho!" as to not offend the women. GIVE ME A BREAK! Seriously, how long has Santa been around. We have to start watching what we say, out of respect for a slang word?!
What makes people in this world think that they have the RIGHT to NOT be offended? Really? Do you think that you can go through your whole life without being offended? Do we really have to start becoming so freakin' politically correct!?
I'll stop there before I get too carried away. Thanks for bringing it up Jen, it was nice to get to vent about it a little.
-Nikki
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