Friday

It's 6:20am Sunday morning and I've been awake since 5:38. Eden needed some soothing back to sleep and I couldn't get back to sleep after that, so I'm going to post about what I've been thinking about. Now, all you moms of 2+ kids reading this are probably going to nod your heads with a smirk of a smile and think, "Honey, you ain't seen nothin' yet!" as you reflect on your own trials by fire. No doubt you have a higher capacity for catastrophe than I do, but I'm going to tell you about my Friday anyway in hopes that you'll be understanding.

Friday morning I decided to attempt going to my strollerobics class. I debated with myself on whether or not to do so, since Eden was actually sound asleep in her bassinet and it's always a risk to wake a sleeping baby. I got her back to sleep in the car, but she woke up again when I packed the girls in the Phil & Ted's. Class started, and I hoped that the movement of the stroller will lull her back to sleep. Not so lucky. I spent most of the class holding her while London was getting anxious herself being in the stroller. This confirmed my decision that I need to join a gym with childcare.

There is a park at the rec center where the class is held, so I thought I'd take London over there so she could run around and burn some of her pent-up energy. As I nursed Eden on the park bench, another mom of two with her newborn nursed next to me. We chit-chatted and she told me she's going back to work next month and asked me if I stay home with my kids. I told her yes, and she said, "I don't know you ladies do it." "Do what?" I asked. "Stay with your kids all day," she replied. Normally I'd think to myself, "I don't know how you don't!" but considering my woes of the past 2 months, I said, "Sometimes I think going to work would be easier." "It is definitely easier," she informed me. "I mean, it's hectic getting them ready and out the door in the morning, but then you sort of forget about them."

I've been thinking a lot about that comment. I think she's right, that it is easier to go to work. I think about Tim, who when he leaves in the morning he leaves all of the chaos and kid concerns behind. Being a nursing mother, I can never leave those concerns behind, even if I do manage to get away by myself for an hour or two. Moving on to the rest of the day...

After naps I decided to go buy a vibrating bouncy seat at the recommendation of my friend whose baby had colic (thanks, Ambyr). A repeat of the morning saga began. Eden was pleasantly asleep in her carseat when I started out, but it didn't last long. She was crying and London was trying to escape the cart. I managed to get the seat and get to the checkout line when the crying escalated to full-on screaming. We left the store and I walked with London over to the fountain at the shopping center. Eden managed to fall asleep in my arms. London was entertained for a few minutes, but then she kept trying to let her stuffed kitty go for a swim. After warning her stop--she didn't--I had to stick to my guns and leave. Fast forward an hour...

London is sitting at the table refusing to eat her dinner and I'm trying to assemble the bouncy seat. Eden starts crying, so I abort the project and decide it's time for a bath for both of them. I put Eden's little tub inside the big tub and get both girls in. Eden calms down for 30 seconds then begins screaming as if in pain. I wondered if the water was too hot and got her out. Just then London poops in the tub and starts freaking out herself. So I put Eden down on her towel and deal with the poop . I get London wiped and out of the tub, and start nursing Eden. London was happily playing with her blocks ( still naked) and Eden was happily nursing and I was trying to have a moment of peace when London pees on the floor and again freaks out. Pee was running down her leg and I couldn't stand it so I cleaned it up while still nursing. After I finished nursing, Eden was calm and I knew I had only a small window of time before she started crying again to get the tub cleaned and give London a proper bath. Tim called at this point to tell me it would be a late night. Whew! When I finally got both girls to bed--and asleep (there's a difference)--I barely had the energy to make myself a sandwich and sit on the couch.

Sometimes I think about my life and remember a time when I felt smart and accomplished. Now my brain is utilized to solve such problems as how to get a baby and a toddler into a shopping cart and I feel accomplished if I can get my newborn to sleep in her bassinet. I look at Tim and he seems to be getting smarter and smarter as the years go on and I feel like I'm getting dumber: after a dinner break I got back to my assembly work, only to find I forgot to buy the dang battery for the bouncy seat.